My mom kept a diary from 1972 to 2018, 46 years. I always remember her having them and writing in them. As a child, I would occasionally pick one up and take a peek at it. I never thought they had anything of interest in them.
When mom died in 2023, I wanted nothing to do with them. I was overwhelmed and too sad, so I told my sisters to take them or just throw them. Thankfully, my sister Linda took them. About a year after Mom died, Linda asked Diane and me if we wanted them because she had not read them and didn't think she would. I decided then that I would like to read a few of the years. Diane took a few, and I took the rest.
Once I got them, I put them in the tote and put them in the closet. I would shove them around and then ignore them for a while longer. Spring came along, and I decided it was time to start reading them.
I am so glad that I did. Reading them has been like living my life all over again, only seeing it through my mom's eyes. I have found myself laughing at the memories and crying with sadness over others. I found out so many things about my mom that I never knew.
I always knew that Mom and Dad spent a lot of time with a core group of friends. What I did not realize was just how much time they did. They went out with friends to dances, dinner, trips, snowmobiling, church gatherings, card club nights, and parties. They would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and then get up to attend 8:00 church on Sunday! And this went on until they were in their 70s.
Mom and her lady friends saw each other at least 3 to 4 times a week. There were lunch dates, shopping dates, coffee club (I wish I were in a coffee club), home extension, craft shows, mystery trips, and so many more things. They sure knew how to have fun.
When we grew up, most of my aunts and uncles lived in the country as we did. Our friends were our cousins. Our moms did so much running back and forth with us so we could play together. I have so many memories of being at their houses and having them at ours. I don't think a week went by when we were young that we were all at our correct houses 😂 . Reading about it now, I wonder how they managed it.
Mom did an extraordinary amount of canning and preserving of food. I remember her always canning, but I did not realize just how much she did until reading about it.
She also sewed so much! She would write down so often that she was sewing a couple of dresses, etc, for herself or one of the girls.
Every time, she would refer to us as the "girls." I would have to stop and remember that she was talking about us. As I was reading, I would occasionally read the name of someone I did not remember. I would think to myself, I need to call mom and ask her who it is, and then it would hit me that I could no longer do that.
A lot of what was written down was just everyday, mundane things. But then I would read something that just made me giggle like the excitement of going to McDonald's that opened up in 1973. It was a big deal!!
Along with all the fun insights, I also found out some things that made me sad.
Mom always struggled with her weight. The first time she wrote about it was in 1976 when a doctor told her she needed to lose weight. I never realized just how much her weight gains and losses affected her mentally. For years and years, she would go from one weight loss program to the next. Her weight would go up and down, and she would get more down on herself. She would make statements that she was disgusted with herself; she looked like a fat cow. I wish I could go back and tell her that she was just fine the way she was. She spent a lifetime trying to be thin and became more and more depressed about it.
Mom struggled with depression. She had some difficult years after a good friend of hers died, and when she was let go from her job of almost 30 years. (Another company bought the place where she worked, and they wanted their own people in position.) When all of this was happening, I was a young adult with kids of my own. I knew she was depressed, but I did not realize the extent of it. I was not very supportive of her.
In later years, Mom wrote a lot about the grandkids and how much she enjoyed them. I think having the grandkids around helped her break out of her depression. She started to find joy in life again.
I love seeing what a great team mom and dad made. They had their ups and downs, but in the end, they were always there for each other. They built three houses together. If you can survive that, you can survive anything! They loved each other until the end.
As the years went on, there would be more and more blank pages in the books. Each new year, she would start out with I am going to be better about keeping this up this year. Then, in 2018, the books abruptly ended. I was so sad that she did not continue them.
I was recently asked if I thought Mom would have wanted us to read her diaries. I believe that she would. She could have gotten rid of the books, but she kept them. They are the history of her life. The good and the bad, we are learning from them. I have enjoyed telling the special people in her life how much they meant to her. I love seeing the joy on their faces when I tell them what she wrote about them and the adventures they shared together. I have taken photos of the pages when she wrote something special about one of the grandkids and sent it to them. It is a great memory for them to keep.
As our mom's generation begins to fade from our lives, a shift occurs. My Generation now finds itself stepping into the role of keeper, entrusted with the precious knowledge and stories passed down through years of lived experience. It is a responsibility, one that we not only remember but also actively integrate their lessons into our own lives. It's our chance to honor their legacy by striving to live lives that reflect the best of what they taught us and, in doing so, do good by them and for generations to come.
We are the keepers of the knowledge....
Sharon
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